So You want to tour Australia?

The main things to avoid, excess mileage charges and having to backtrack to return the bike, we mentioned before.

However there are other concerns that need to be taken into account whilst travelling through Australia. Some of the more pertinent ones are listed below.

Road Trains.

These are big. Not 18 wheeler big. 32 wheeler big! The one pictured has a bike parked beside it. Coming towards you the best defence is to stop completely, and wait until it's past. Trying to ride will cause blindness from the dust thrown up, deafness from the noise of the tyres going past and sure loss of your security deposit should you end up under any of its wheels. However, the problem facing inexperienced riders is following them. They are double decked cattle trucks, with no ensuites. Follow one of these too close and I don't care what deodorant you use, you will be sitting alone at dinner!

White Pointers

We are often asked about White Pointers and do we have them. White Pointers can be found on most Australian beaches. They are generally not dangerous if you are prepared. White pointers are usually found in pairs. Should you come across a pair, usually attached to an English Backpacker, do not stare at them.Try to pass by as unobtrusively as possible. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES must you point, wave, or make loud noises. This will provoke the owner, and the attack can be ferocious. Oh yeah, and stay out of the water, it's full of sharks.

Asking Directions

Anyone can get lost, and asking directions is a great way to meet the locals. Australians speak English (of sorts) and most can also read a map. They are generally friendly, as long as you remember that bastard is a form of endearment and to stand your round in the hotel.

The girls from MT Mee, (just outside Brisbane) have been brought up on Ag bikes since they were 2. They can change a head gasket as easily as make a lamington, and are among the most beautiful girls in Queensland. Usually. Just beware if asking her where she is from, if she mentions Mt Mee. That is not an invitation, and ANY comment will be dealt with severely.

Yorkys Knob. A great beach just outside Cairns. We won't go there. You can of course, great yacht club. Just we won't with these comments.